1942: I don't know how to reapproach someone I've lost in touch with other than letting them approach me. If they were the last to voice their opinion, then I'll let them reinitiate it. I will tell you that I was once the boy in elementary school that folded a thousand tiny paper cranes with what seemed to be an entire leaf of a mead notebook. This was probably the first time I realized giving a thoughtful gift on something someone once said at one moment in time gave a second look or chance to the uncommon and overlooked. But these were the days you could just fill your crush's desk with paper cranes on Valentine's Day and it was an activity they approved in public schools. To give a wish. These days I'm not so sure it's accepted due to education about boundaries and unwarranted advances. But I do remember the days of being a child, and looking forward to seeing friends or a particular person in that one class; or just being away from home for a while. It was an innocent time and something that I must have carried throughout my life. Being mindful and thoughtful of others, even in the face of an adverse world where every action must have an intention tied to it. Other than being kind. One could say I was groomed to eventually be one of the chivalrous few (or fool) that carried this with his heart to A T. With timing.
1751: The day I sent a letter I believe I bought a ring. It felt the same as it did 22 years ago. I relived what seemed to be something from my past. That was around the time she didn't want to keep the child I can't stop talking about to this day. Don't know what would have happened if she had said yes. She had no intention of wanting to start a family with me because I had forsaken so much to continue a relationship that would have gone nowhere. It was out of the norm, and it took from me daily. I held onto something that shouldn't have been, but made me pursue a path least traveled. It challenged me to reach the stars of which I remember this ring resembled; a polaris and a north star. I don't know where this ring is but I remember it being here. It's something I could always feel the presence of. It has a strange sensation when I'm near it, kind of like a low hum. I seem to recognize things by the way they make me feel but it seems as if there's a signal attached to certain things I gravitate towards. A year later I'm not sure where it is. People have come and go from this place I now call a home away from home. Every inch was searched here and it's not where I had placed it before. A man who can remember with detail can't find misplaced jewelry. I don't really need it, but to whomever has it now I hope it finds you peace. Use it to start a life, live anew and find what you seek. Within it a message only heat and light can bring. Inscribed a corny line in elven, "I love you 3,000."
0215: Marina discovered about my global positioning system being compromised sometime during my cross country trek last year. She knew I had a bad sense of direction yet I always seemed to "feel" where I had to be. This was how it was when I would travel and I had no signal or when my phone would overheat and become inoperable. Often times my navigation would be in radio silence, in what seems to be dark and immutable areas. I had the idea of a counter GPS, one that was localized after it had remembered your driving patterns. This is why your application sometimes takes you to places that may seem inefficient but has been seen as a path that was tried and true. However my kid had somehow combined the addresses of my contacts and the same traffic pattern idea of the application to navigate you to the vicinity of others that you trust. When efficiency takes a step down to increase your rate of survival, I suppose this would be useful. However I remember last year it kept taking me to places that take me out of the way just to get to one spot. I had to rely on myself remembering markers since I would often miss the signs up close and in failing light, cannot see the turns I were to make. This is a possible feature that may kick off when your phone detects variation or changes in your "demeanor," namely a mode of stress. Another variable that can affect the state of flow, especially with traffic. On a predictive and analytical scale. With safety and automation. In precedence. In present mind.
0039: In my workflow for Yubetou is approximately 4 months of videos, recorded in 22 minute increments. Just short of 77 hours. It seemed like I was projecting each every third day and speaking to it as if it occurred. Out of curiosity I picked a random video and played the audio associated with it, found that particular topic on that day spoke about something that happened in current day events as well as astronomy. It was more in a generalized sense, and only touched upon a headline in space news. Then there were a bunch of corrupted and unusable batches that followed. It was part of a network storage system that overheated last summer. I seem to have found the last set of usable videos that were scheduled to premiere on June 16 and the 19th last year. I am thinking of releasing them tomorrow, but keep in mind this was a year ago and this may be the start of me getting back into content creation, but won't be the priority. Last year I spent an unhealthy amount of time trying to make sense of various things; and now it seems I am doing the same this year but not in the same ability or capacity as I once did. Marina would have called this an angel with a broken/mended wings.
