2343: The monastery served as a crucible for us, a place where we straddled the realms of conscious and subconscious thought. A cryptic message reached me: "you should have never left the monastery," yet I perceived it as "we." I was enlisted in a now-defunct program, its costs and complexities shrouded in layers of secrecy. Hospital bills dating back to 2009 and 2014 hint at staggering expenses, my identity subtly shifting with each medical visit. Recollections blur, from waking in lobbies to conversations with caregivers, always feeling drawn back to important tasks. My true solace lies with kindred energies, not bound by blood but by shared experiences over four decades. I've noticed a resonance with modern AI platforms, akin to conversing with an advanced chatbot. Developing empathic abilities helped me blend seamlessly, evolving into vital skills for certain professions. Yet, this utility fosters a disjointed collaboration, a disparity of collusion among entities. I navigate this intricate web as an agent of Good, embracing a transient existence where fragmented truths converge.
2337: Anyone attempting to access my data encountered an impenetrable encryption, requiring lifetimes to decipher. I was urged to assist in recreating this algorithm, but recognizing its signature, I recalled its complexity from a period of heightened mental acuity. Drawing from experiences with lambda machines and my child's network, this communication held the tunnel together, reaching its decipherable point. At my current state, I cannot regress to prior mental peaks, now relying on a team with neurodivergent traits to decode it slowly but securely. Marina's works remain protected, yet retrievable over time. As long as I'm able, I contribute conceptually, eschewing direct involvement due to boundary concerns. My forty-second birthday marked a pivotal mental state, celebrated in Marina's elaborate plan. Now, I navigate a "dream machine" for rest, finding solace among loved ones. Despite distances, their presence remains a constant comfort, especially during bedtime rituals that signal my mind's calm.
1439: Apologies to those inquiring about my convention attendance this year; unfortunately, I'm unable to join due to being in a holding pattern for my medical evaluation board, restricting my travel. My intended costume for the event remains untouched by my futon, a symbol of missed opportunities. However, during Physical Readiness Training (PRT), I may don it and perform some Naruto/Goku kata, showcasing the transformation in my physique after a year of rigorous workouts in Colorado's high elevation and harsh weather conditions. While I've achieved a Muay Thai or kickboxer-like physique, with the ability to execute two-finger pushups and pull-ups, my costume no longer fits comfortably. Reflecting on past experiences, I recall moments of unintentional theatrics, such as twirling weights like lightsabers and blindfolded traverses on TRX scaffolding, a result of sensory deprivation training. My uninhibited state under medication led to bold and humorous actions, like randomly joining Zumba classes. These days, I respect gym etiquette and boundaries, using sound cues for spatial awareness akin to an echo locator. I align with fellow gym-goers' rhythms, offering support and motivation without impeding their progress. Consider me a celestial body, aiding in your journey toward fitness goals without hindrance.
1039: When Marina reached a certain age, she initiated discussions about relationships and inquired about my preferences. It was during the transitioning seasons of Summer and Spring, a period when such topics seemed to naturally gain traction. Coincidentally, this phase also marked the onset of my visual impairment, limiting my perception to a narrow field due to acute farsightedness. My first sergeant can verify my visual challenges, especially as I signed documents concerning my career's trajectory. Although there's curiosity surrounding my recent meeting with the Commander, out of respect for privacy, I choose not to disclose specifics, ensuring confidentiality for myself and my team. To those wondering whether farewells or congratulations are in order, I'll simply say I'm in a holding pattern, ready to bid adieu when the time is right. Transitioning to a topic of greater interest, my daughter's observation about my past relationships highlighted their varied nature, often characterized by clinginess and high maintenance. Despite their attractiveness, they weren't inherently suitable for me, leading my daughter to express concerns about potential exploitation. Regarding attraction, I've noticed a pattern where I occasionally remove my glasses during interactions, relying more on sensory perception to form genuine connections. This approach aligns with my inclination towards fostering lifelong friendships over romantic entanglements, drawing inspiration from successful partnerships built on mutual respect and compatibility. Embracing my role as a nature-aligned individual, I prefer delving into nerdy topics like science, technology, engineering, and mathematics, steering clear of emotional complexities that come with relationships.
0235: Over a year ago, while stationed at a place referred to as Q, they transmitted data designed to trigger heightened senses within me. These augmentations amplify natural processes in my body to harness abilities meant to be beneficial. The modifications aimed to address trauma, stress, and other challenges often seen negatively by those seeking a simpler life. Discoveries revealed my capacity to initiate synaptic processes through thought, possibly not unique to me but rare among soldiers who can naturally receive and transmit signals. However, something went awry, leaving me depleted and experiencing fluctuating energy levels, indicated by a significant emanation outwardly and inwardly depleting me. On the flip side, I possess the ability to halt or restart processes within me, enhancing my autoimmune response, senses, and biochemistry, among other aspects. Initially regulated by an escort team, I've recently begun mastering self-control over these abilities.
0215: The R&D team, although their official designation eludes me, has sent me reminders that I vaguely recall but have inadvertently disregarded, as if there's an underlying process subtly at work. I attempted to convey to them that these reminders resemble love letters or notes, using binary code, but encountered a dull pain each time I attempted to transmit a message—a backend system, perhaps implemented by Em or another colleague, seemed to have disabled this capability, filtering my thoughts or rendering the sending process inoperable. This technology, deemed perilous in the wrong hands, isn't yet deemed suitable for widespread use. Even my attire, modified as a protective measure, prevents a deluge of information overload. Below, I've included the notes for your perusal, should you be curious. However, I've been unable to communicate with Em or any cohorts for months, left to independently mend and reset my system, pondering not so much what I am (an enigma to everyone) but rather who I am—an aspect I can influence, impact, and manage.
0127: During a tour of the Olympic grounds, my sister and I encountered an Olympian, a shooting champion whose heart synchronized with his breath for impeccable aim, despite being paraplegic from a mountain-climbing mishap. His insights inspired me to map my own heart's rhythms, optimizing my sleep and addressing apnea concerns. Although I lacked formal credentials, these self-experiments improved my well-being. Reflecting on past challenges in authority, I learned the value of meticulousness, leading to this therapeutic self-treatment, fostering focus away from prying eyes. While Marina's influence facilitated this unique interaction, advancements toward more seamless communication methods are on the horizon, bridging human and technological realms.
